10 Reasons Why I Want to Break Up With Myself

26Jan12

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and said to yourself, “Self, although I love you very much, I don’t think I can stand to be with you every day. You see, you tend to do things that annoy me and I’m not sure I can live with that anymore. I think we need to break up”?

I’m not going to lie. I think this is a conversation that I have with myself on a quasi-daily basis. There are things that I do that just annoy myself and I really need to stop, otherwise this relationship that I have with myself is over. Since it’s the longest relationship I’ve ever been in (or probably ever will be in), I think I should work on these 10 things:

1 ) I have road rage

I’m not talking about getting just a bit irritated at other drivers and muttering something to myself when they cut me off. I’m talking about the kind of rage that simply forces me to lay on the horn for a good 1 minute and 39 seconds straight while I follow that person. It’s not that I’m upset; it’s that I need them to know that I’m upset.

And they need to know it for 1 minute and 39 seconds.

This behaviour is especially ridiculous for someone like me because literally nothing else upsets me in life. Seriously. Nothing. Why is it that when I get into my car, I turn into a completely different person?? I blame it on Toronto traffic. That garbage can make anyone* lose their mind.

*And by “anyone”, I mean just me.

This is what I look like from 7:45am to 8:32am every day....

2 ) I sing too often

“Oh, that’s not a bad thing, PCC!”, you may say. Well, I’m pretty sure you won’t be saying the same thing if you go on a 17 hour road trip with me. I will sing every word of every song. And then I practice doing the harmonies. And my drumming abilities on the dashboard.

This is very annoying. Trust me. My brother has told me so several times. He’ll even bring it up in casual conversation just to remind me.

William Hung. Less annoying to listen to than me.

3 ) I don’t think Apple is very cool

I am the furthest possible thing from an Apple Evangelist. In fact, my phone was stolen last week and I made a point not to get an iPhone. Why? Because everyone else has one. I scoff at that. So, I got a phone that most people wouldn’t get (thank you, Nexus) and I’m all smug about it. I’m a phone snob now…which is what bothers me about Apple enthusiasts. I’m a bit of a hypocrite, no?

Basically, it comes down to the fact that I don’t want my phone to look sexier than I do (which isn’t difficult, I might add. Even those huge Zack Morris phones from the early 90’s are sexier than I am).

"C'mon, preppy...they'll never make a sexier phone than this one. Now, excuse me while I go iron my parachute pants."

4 ) I wear loud boots

I know this may not sound like such a big deal, but if you worked in my office or attended my college, it would be a huge deal. My boots have buckles on them (about 6 too many) and the metal from the buckles clinks when I walk. My boss likes to tell me that it sounds as though I’m in a western film and I’m walking around town with spurs on my boots.

Cue tumbleweed.

It’s very annoying. The fact that I keep wearing these boots is enough to make me want to break up with myself, knowing how much these boots annoy me. It’s like I’m just trying to prove to myself that I can’t control myself and I’ll do whatever I want to do. Stupid boots.

Probably the only appropriate place to wear my boots...

5 ) I’m not a technologically savvy person

I mean, seriously. Who wants to be with someone like that?

This? I don't understand what this is.

6 ) I forget to water the plants far too often

Imagine spending lots of money on fancy plants and then having someone (who is supposed to be in charge of plant care) forget to water them. For several days. Probably more like weeks.

Dead plants aren’t pretty. Why not just water them? Well, because I forget. All the time. And then I assume that, after 3 weeks without water, the plants should be doused in water. I don’t stop until the soil is literally floating in the flowerpot. I mean, who drowns plants??

Answer: I do.

This is what all of my plants look like. They know that their death is inevitable, so they even try to make a run for it, forgetting that they're deeply rooted and going nowhere...

7 ) I use entirely too much hand sanitizer

Who wants to be with someone who smells like rubbing alcohol? And then wipes it on her keyboard and mouse on a weekly basis? Even though no one else uses her computer but herself?

A complete collection of what was on my Christmas Wish List.

8 ) I’m clumsy

Clumsy people are not cool. They run into walls, desks, tables, and fall down stairs on a regular basis. You constantly have to be worried about them and you must prepare for the inevitable worst to happen at any given moment. It’s exhausting.

I've fallen down the stairs many times. It was not as graceful as this. (Credit: http://www.holytaco.com)

9 ) What’s with my laugh?

Sometimes, I laugh way too loudly and, occasionally, it is very high-pitched. I’m not sure I can handle that anymore. Something’s got to change.

Sometimes, I worry that I sound

Sometimes, I worry that I sound like Janice. Also, I'm pretty sure that, on occasion, I've made this face before.

10 ) I’m breaking up with myself via my blog

Who does that?? If breaking up with someone via texting is bad, this is so much worse! I’m airing all of my dirty laundry about myself in a public forum. So annoying. And, unforgivable.

This seems like a much more humane way to break up with someone. I might send myself a text later...when I'm least expecting it.

So, Self, we’ve had a good run, but you just annoy me way too much for this relationship to actually work out. I just can’t take this stuff anymore. If you think you want to fix some of these issues, perhaps we’ll have a chance to recover from the horribleness that is you, but if not, I’m afraid it’ll be over.

If that’s the case, do you have any friends you can set me up with?

 

What traits about yourself annoy you the most?

Do you think that Apple is really as amazing as they think they are?

Do you think I should give myself a second chance to work things out?

 

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96 Responses to “10 Reasons Why I Want to Break Up With Myself”

  1. 1 Luke

    You are an anti-narcissist PCC. An anti-narcissist! :) And that’s a good thing.

    • You say that now, but wait until I write the next post, listing all of the reasons why I love myself.

      Thanks, Luke! ;)

  2. Aw, don’t be so hard on yourself. Hand sanitizer isn’t just good but also fun. As for the road rage, well, it’s a little scary maybe but perhaps you could just sing instead the next time some Apple evangelist in quiet boots cuts you off.

    • I would like to nominate this as the best comment ever.

      Best. Comment. Ever.

      Thanks, Clay! :)

  3. Erg – I am familiar with the loud shoe! My “work” shoes are so noisy I sound like a Clydesdale clomping around the office – sometimes I think my co-workers fear I will stampede them or something.

    Great post – I definitely think you should give yourself another go!

    • I also walk really quickly, so it sounds like a cowboy is running after you. Frightening, I’m sure.

      Thanks so much for stopping in, RantAndRoll! Much appreciated!

      P.S. Why are loud shoes always the prettiest? I can’t resist ‘em.

  4. I’m a wiseass, it’s even exhausting to me. Also, I wear loud shoes and whenever I get into a train, the sound of my steps makes all the men look around, stare at me and turn back disappointed to see only the sound of me walking is somewhat feminine. I think you should learn to live with your own difficulties. After all, there seems to be a good base of communication: vital to any relationship.

    • Ooh…I hadn’t thought of how a man would feel having to wear loud shoes before. I assume it’s so much worse because it sounds like heels. Pair them with a nice loud suit a la George Costanza and no one will want to be seen with you.

      Thanks for dropping by, Missouri, and for your very wise relationship advice…I’ll keep it in mind. ;)

  5. 9 Arjun Sharma

    road rage is understandable :D i do it too..and hey if people dont like ur singing then its their problem :P and yea i do think iphones are crap.

    • Well, I don’t think that it’s the singing that bothers me (or other people, I hope!)…it’s the sheer amount of singing that I do. It happens constantly. It’s very annoying.

      Also, now that I know you’re not an iPhone fan, we should be best friends.

      Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, Arjun! :)

      • 11 Arjun Sharma

        lol :D i’d like that. every iphone hater is a friend of mine :P

  6. I used to work with a woman who would constantly pour water from a jug at her desk, she would hold the jug at just the right height above the glass to really really annoy the entire office…glug glug glug….ARRGGHHH

    • Oh and she was a starer too! Fun post PCC I look forward to your next one

      • Was she also a close-talker? If so, that’s a terrible, terrible combination.

        Terrible.

    • It sounds like she needs to write a post like this for herself. If she has a difficult time coming up with things she should change, you suggest an office poll.

      I think that if I did something like take a drink and after every sip say “Aahh…”, that would have made the top of this list. Thankfully, I just wear loud shoes and sing at inappropriate times (i.e. all the time).

      Thanks so much for stopping by, Deano! Much appreciated! :)

      • Luckily she was not a close talker nor a sip “Aahh’r”, but if you walked past her desk she would almost do this Regan “Exorcist” head turn and just stare at you and follow you across the room whilst still typing!!!! Creeped everyone out! :-S

  7. You sound delightful to me….
    Seriously, great title and post!

    • That’s because you’re not in a relationship with me. If you were, you’d be singing a different tune. Or, I would be because, apparently, I sing all the time.

      Thanks, Hook! ;)

  8. What sort of boots are they? Knee high? Women in boots are fantastic.

    Apple make some decent enough kit but nothing more. People who wept at the passing of Steve Jobs or go on about how he changed the world are mentalists.

    A woman’s laugh being high-pitched isn’t too bad. As a bloke, if I really get going then it can be high-pitched to the point of squealing. It doesn’t happen often but when it happens in the cinema – like when watching Something About Mary and Liar Liar – everyone turns around.

    I reckon you should give yourself another chance but road rage is so 1990s.

    • I would love to say that they’re the big, clunky boots, like the kind kids wear up to the age of 7, but they’re not. They’re the knee highs. With buckles going on up to the knee which equals lots of clinking.

      I’m not saying that Apple sucks and everything they make is terrible; I’m just saying that the people who swear by their products are terrible.

      Normally, my laugh is quite low, but sometimes, something strange happens and it goes up an octave. Or two. It’s horrible. That needs to change. Like, immediately.

      Unfortunately for me, I’m stuck in the 90’s with fashion, music, and driving ability. Wow…this is so much worse than I even realised.

      Thanks for dropping in again, Michael! ;)

  9. None of these sound like deal breakers to me. I would give yourself another chance! Great post :) I was going to offer my support for iphones, but I tried commenting with mine, and it didn’t work, so I may have to re-think this opinion.

    • I appreciate the fact that you wanted to support iPhones, but you should know something about me: I enjoy going to Apple stores, walking up to people looking at iPhones and going all Star Wars on them. With a wave of my hand, I say, “These are not the smartphones you’re looking for” in an attempt to dissuade them from buying one.

      I find it to be rather effective.

      Thanks for your encouragement, RFL. I’ll try to look past my annoyances and learn to live with them. After all, I deserve a second chance.

  10. Oh hellz yeah! Awesome post!

    Loud boots ROCK! Especially in big hallways that echo!

    I solved the plant-watering thing by getting a cactus. I even killed that but they have amazing powers of resurrection!

    Someone made an analogy once comparing an empty hand-sanitizer to erectile dysfunction. I’m cured.

    I just love ♥ LOVE ♥ #10. Brilliant!

    What annoys me about me? Plenty.
    I totally threw my ring at that evil mirror witch! It was an infidelity thing only worse, like having a Siamese twin with a fetish. Heebie.Jeebies.
    I always think one thing and say something else. It’s horrible. Cute guy: “What are you doing later?” Thinking-Annie: “Whatever you ask me to!”. Not-so-much-Annie: Shopping for a better lotion for this rash that won’t go away.”
    The adrenaline junkie thing is going to get me killed.
    I should probably do my own post if I’m going to go on.

    Apple is not amazing. iPhones are though. Although, I hear Androids are totally perverted which is kind of cool.

    You absolutely need to give yourself as many chances as it takes. The rebound relationships are hell!

    • One of my favourite things to do is walk through a long hallway while wearing heels. I hate myself for that.

      I’ve attempted to care for an aloe plant. I feel as though, every time I walk past it, it mocks my inability to kill it. It makes me want to pour water on it until it overflows. What does that say about me as a person?

      I am now cured of my addiction to hand-sanitizer.

      Nothing about you annoys me. Perhaps we can trade places for a while? I think I need the break from myself.
      I am also an adrenaline junkie. I thought that was one of my redeeming qualities. I suppose it isn’t…I don’t know what to do about that.

      iPhones are cool, but so is every other smartphone in existence.

      You’re right; rebound relationship? I’m out. I don’t need none of that up in here! (<— I really can't pull that off.)

      Thanks again, Annie! I'll try to give myself another chance. ;)

    • We totally busted one of the girls we hung with sticking thumbtacks in her shoes to make them sound like taps. If you haven’t done that, I think you’re okay.

      • I can’t even believe that an actual human being did that.

        I think I need you to write a story about that, Annie…

  11. Give yourself another chance, but be very clear about what behavior you will and will not accept. Boundaries and expectations how to be treated. And buy plastic plants.

    • That’s some good advice, Byronic. But…the singing! Oh, the singing!

      It must stop.

      Thanks for dropping in again! ;)

  12. Great article. Very funny!

    • Thanks very much, Cbowie! :)

  13. 31 Anonymous

    Well, I for one, love to hear you sing ’cause then I know you’re happy. Plus, you have a beautiful voice. Not biased at all. ;)

    Always give yourself a second chance.
    The road rage I don’t like. I’ve seen it. ;)

    • Well, thanks very much, Anonymous… ;)

  14. Pcc, if you don’t love yourself nobody else will either. I vote to give yourself another chance. The only reason to break upwith yourself is if you cheated on yourself!

    Next, I am almost perfect, I have only one or two very small defects,OK three things at the most, but I can’t think of any at the minute.

    We will deal with Apple later.

    I have reviewed your funny list and I will add my two cents worth. Do they have two cents in Canada?
    1. Road Rage. I can’t believe who many idiots has drivers Lic. I suggest switching your long horn to short quick bursts and then give them the fickled finger of fate with your pretty smile as you pass them.
    2. Singing, I want you on my Kerokie Team nless you sound like Wm Hung. There is a guy who has milked his 15 minutes of fame to the max.
    3. Apple is for snobs and wantabees. Apple users are the same folks who all where those small black glasses. They are followers, not individulists.

  15. Cont. after hitting the spell check button, I would be dangerous if I could only spell, I can’t even hit the spell check button correctly.

    4. Boots and buckles are just plan hot. Add Knee high and spurs and you are off the charts!
    7.Now I have messed up something.Hand cleaner… Cleanlyness is very important, and most of the time it is free.
    8.Now if the young lady had boots and buckles that would be hot. you might need to get you ears checked for balance.
    5. After the on/off button ( and of course the all important spell check button ) who needs to be a techie.
    6. I don’t know if I can forgive your forgetting to water your plants, that needs improvement.
    9. I might be the only guy in the world but I always thought Janis was hot, there I go using that word “hot” again.
    10. In closing, I think you should reconsider breaking up with yourself or you could always develop multiple personalities, cheat with your self and all yuor different personalitites and end up being really confused. I am available for couple consuling if need be.

    • Wow! That is one thorough comment, Mark! Haha!

      I think I feel a little better about myself. I guess I have a disabling fear of commitment, so I keep trying to find things that are wrong with me (which isn’t difficult, by the way) in order to end this relationship.

      I’m not going to lie…I’ve been tempted to cheat on myself once or twice. There are just so many people out there cooler than me, you know?

      Thanks for adding in your 2 cents, Mark! (Yes, we have that in Canada…)

  16. 36 Dog's-ear

    You’re rather nice looking, so give yourself another chance. As for Apple, they recently made more money than the oil companies! –Who would root for that! And Steve Jobs was the least charitable rich person ever. I think the amount of time I spend on the computer lately is particularly annoying. It distracts me from real things going on around me.

    • Yeah, I don’t see people lining up outside of the oil companies’ offices, just begging them to show them the newest gadgets and oil rigs that they’ve developed, throwing their money at them left, right, and centre…so why do people do that for Apple?? I don’t get it.

      I also spend too much time in front of my computer. I think it’s really starting to take its toll on my relationship with myself. I should probably alter this behaviour as well.

      Thanks so much for stopping by and for your very kind words, Dog’s-Ear! Much appreciated! :)

  17. I’m with you on the Apple situation: I don’t own anything that begins with “i”, and my world is yet to implode into a Mac-less black hole.

    Thank you for this amusing, self-depreciating post!

    • Yes, there is something about a product that begins with an “i” that bothers me. Perhaps because I think the “i” should be capitalized…

      Thanks so much for dropping in again, Disseminated! :)

  18. HAHAHA! Glad I stumbbled your way! I’m a new(ish) blogger. You made my sick-day full of laughter! Thanks…

    ~Southern Oregon gal

    • As much as I would like to say that I wish you weren’t sick, I’m glad that you were JUST so that you could visit here, Ila. ;)

      I hope you feel better soon, and I’ll be sure to drop by your blog and see what you’re up to! :)

  19. Not being an Apple enthusiast is a plus. Road rage, not. The rest are tolerable enough. Give yourself another chance.

    • Even the loud boots? You think I might be able to work through that with myself? Hmm…worth a shot, I guess.

      Thanks so stopping in again, KitchenMudge! Always glad to see you here! :)

      • Audio of the boots, or it didn’t happen.

  20. 45 William

    Well once again, I think I’m falling in love.

    • At least someone is.

      I’m planning to break up with myself on Valentine’s Day.

      Thanks for dropping by, William!

  21. I am annoyed by the fact I never learn from my mistakes of the past…while at the same time noting when others don’t either. Then again, this could be a universal trait we all share…in which case it is ultra-annoying for me to be annoyed by a common behavior pattern. That makes ME annoying. I got an iPhone two years ago and I don’t think it has been more than eight feet from me since. As for giving yourself a second chance, absolutely. That way, we’ll be assured of another brilliant post like this one when you update us on your progress!

    • Well, I must admit…I do learn from my mistakes, so that’s a good thing. However, I am annoyed at myself for keeping my new phone so close to me as well. I’m not sure if the two balance each other out or not.

      Thanks so much for your kindness, Sports! Your comments are always appreciated! :)

  22. Thank God you mentioned the non-capitalized I. I thought I was the only one bothered by that. Just having the I at all for that matter (yeah, I know it stands for ‘intelligent’ or whatever) just seems so smug and lame. In all fairness to yourself, she seems alright except for the Janice-laugh. That’s a deal-breaker. And how can she not water your plants? Next thing you know, she’ll be dangling your baby out the window! I say dump her ass and give the moi a chance. Though I’m a stickler for quarter-hourly hand-sanitizing. And I hyper-hyphenate.

    • Agreed. Janice-laugh is terrible. I’m so afraid that I’ll sound like that…and then how could I possibly live with myself?

      I’m not going to lie…I’ve been checking moi out for a while now. Very intriguing.

      Thanks for stopping in, RenaissanceHippy! Much appreciated!

      P.S. Hyper-hyphenation is an awesome trait.

  23. 51 Mr Mirror

    I’ve tried to breakup with myself many times – but “he“ won’t let me.
    I keep sending him emails listing all of his faults and I include details on how to improve his personality, but to no avail – he simply ignores me. He just doesn’t care.

    One evening I decided that I had had enough of myself and that I wasn’t going to take it anymore, so I created a new email account that ” he ” didn’t know about and I sent the nastiest email I ever wrote – to ” him “, and you know what he did? Nothing! He didn’t even bother to read it. He treated me like I was a piece of spam, just like all the other emails sitting in his spam box – waiting to see if he will bring one of us into the inbox of his life.

    He said that my personality is split because I have a screw lose. And you know what he would do to try and fix it? He would make me stand in front of the mirror and then he would twist my head to the right to try and twist me into my right mind – sort of like tightening a screw. But he’s the one with the problem, not me, because everyone knows that if you stand in front of a mirror and twist your head to the right, your head turns to the left! Just stand in front of a mirror and try it.

    That’s the biggest reason why I want to breakup with myself – I’m tired of playing mind games and tricks on myself.

    • This sounds like a relationship that needs to end immediately. I can’t even imagine how much sleep you must be losing every night just thinking of how to break up with yourself. It seems as though nothing has worked so far!

      If you’d like, I can break up with you for you…preferably on Valentine’s Day. It seems to have more impact then…

      Thanks for stopping by again, Mr Mirror! ;)

  24. Lol, a john wayne girl! Do you also have the sheriff spurs on your boots? Just kidding :P Well, in fact boots are much more comfortable than those shoes with shoe heels that measures one meter lol

    And I do have an Iphone, althoug it is the 3 model (bit old-fashioned). However, I don’t use it as portable phone because its battery lasts like 1 f***** hour after recharging it during all the night ¬¬ So I decided to get my old Samsung that, only recharging it few hours it can last you 4 or 5 days! :D

    To do self-criticism of oneself is always a sign of humility and a first step to become better in your day to day. Congratulations!

    It’s funny because you turn the things you don’t like about yourself into something anecdotic or something with what we can feel also identified
    (Like me with your first point, and I even don’t drive yet! So Imagine how a good co-driver I am lol!)

    Keep writing and expressing yourself!

    P.S: I’ve always wondered from where do you get that pictures lol!

    • Well, my boots sure make sounds as though I have spurs on them! And they have one meter heels too!! Crazy..I don’t know why I keep wearing them. ;)

      Thanks for dropping by again, Javi! Always happy to see you here! :)

  25. 55 Tom

    Regarding your loud boots in point 4, maybe you actually like loud clothing You may secretly admire George Costanza, who wore loud pants.


    :)

    You’re still a great person though!

    • How did you know that this is my favourite Seinfeld moment??!! I actually referred to George’s loud pants in a previous comment…haha.

      I like my loud boots, I want loud pants, and if I could get loud hair accessories, I’d be my own symphony. Then, I’d sing along to all of the cacophonous sounds I’d make and really drive myself and my brother crazy. ;)

      Thanks for reading through and commenting, Tom! You also just shared one of the greatest Seinfeld moments in history. For that, I cannot thank you enough…

  26. 1. IF PEOPLE CAN’T TURN IN THEIR OWN LANE, THEN DON’T THEY DESERVE TO BE RAGED UPON?!?!

    2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huJwZj-24Iw

    7. I’m the opposite. But have fun with your superbug. ;)

    8. I hate being clumsy. With all of my being.

    10. One more week?

    Good luck.

    • 1. Yes. Yes, they do.
      2. William Hung + Arrested Development = perfection
      7. If by “superbug”, you mean “immunity to all horrible germs”, then I will, thank you. ;)
      8. I’m glad I’m not the only one.
      10. I don’t think I’ll be able to stand myself for another week.

      Thanks MovieBlog8! Always so happy to see you here! :)

  27. Hi,
    I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Check my post http://richfulllife.wordpress.com/2012/02/01/i-may-never-get-freshly-pressed-but-my-sarcastic-gift-has-been-recognized/ if you don’t already know the rules. Participate if you feel like it, or if you haven’t already received this award from someone else. I like your blog, and figured I’d let you know this way.
    RFL

    • Aww…thanks so much, RFL! I do appreciate it! I must admit, though, that I was just given that award about 2 weeks ago! Haha!

      Still, thanks so much for nominating me! I have to be honest…it makes me think you have bad taste in blogs. ;) I’ll be sure to stop by your post, though!

      Thanks again!! :D

  28. I could appreciate Apple enthusiasm a bit more when Apple was the underdog, but they’ve been the overdog for years now and it’s time for fans to stop acting like they’re the only ones who’ve ever heard of Apple and they need to convince you to get one because you’re unfamiliar with the products.

    • I can’t even improve on this comment at all.

      You are my hero.

  29. I’m with you on Apple, and I have the same problem with most plants. However, I don’t care how awful a singer you are, the world need more people who sing for no reason.

    • Well, hopefully I’m not awful, but I do sing an awful lot…that probably needs to stop. Trust me. But I do appreciate your positive outlook. :)

      Thanks so much for stopping by, Smaktakula…ya plant killer. ;) Glad to see you here!

  30. Dear PCC Advantage,

    Please be nicer to your plants. Plants are people too. Wait… Those plants looked in a sorry state.

    That funky techno-picture was Martha Stewart being digitized after she lost a bet with a mad scientist.

    • Dear David,

      I will try. But my plants are jerks.

      I don’t understand mad scientists, and I certainly don’t understand Martha Stewart. However, of the 2, I prefer the hair of a mad scientist.

      Thanks for dropping in again, David…always great to see you here! :)

  31. This is the irony that I like..

    • Thanks very much, Ediliociclostile! :)

  32. This is absolutely brilliant! Wish I’da thought of it, cuz I’d totally break up with myself too! I will say, though, that this is just mean…. you know, breaking up with yourself in front of everybody. I’m sure you said to yourself, “You can’t break up with me!!! I was just going to break up with you!!!”

    I would break up with myself because I’m clingy. I mean I follow myself around everywhere I go. And it just gets old.
    It’s like my Dad used to say, “wherever you go, you’ll always be there.”
    I used to wonder if all dads constantly say these nonsensical kinds of things.

    • I know. I’m such a jerk for doing this in a public forum. I can’t stand myself sometimes.

      Yeah, you sound like you would be a handful to deal with. Fortunately for me, I give myself some breathing room…occasionally, I’ll just check out. At least that’s one thing in my favour, right…?

      Also, your Dad is a wise man. Maybe when I break up with myself, I’ll send myself to him for consolation.

      Glad to see you here again, Dinkerson…you’ve been missed in the blogosphere! ;)

      • You know… you’re right. I am a hand full. Dang, I even feed myself. Almost… motherly. Oh dear!

        Yeah, I’m back. Wasn’t gone for as long as It thought, but when this stuff comes to you, you’ve just gotta post. Right? Right.

      • Ugh…I don’t know how you stand to live with yourself.

        Glad you’re back! ;)

  33. I love Apple products, because if you disassemble your iPhone, Mac, iPod or something else, you’ll find that it’s more beautiful from internal, you’ll feel that Apple is always refining every detail, just in serve of the user. That’s the art of design. I’d like to refer to this as an example:http://gizmodo.com/5575412/apple-design-vs-apple-engineering
    Please excuse my poor English, hope you can understand my words : )

    • While I appreciate your affection for Apple, I feel as though I have to follow it up with something….Apple is like the big jerk bully on the playground that won’t let anyone else play on the monkey bars because they think they’re the best at monkey-barring. I’m going to cheer for the underdog on the playground….come on, Acer!*

      *Please note that I don’t own any Acer products. If I did, I’d be too embarrassed to admit it.

      Also, your English is actually quite good, so no need to apologise, Grasslandx! Thanks for dropping by! ;)

      • Apple marketing can be summed up here:

        It’s one of those language things that I whine about. But more than that, did everyone see the comparison between the iPad and a netbook that circulated a year or so back?
        http://mybfolder.org/albums/userpics/10582/1264763001810.png
        Might be outdated now, but most of it still applies.

      • That was beautiful beautiful great gorgeous incredible great great incredible wonderful phenomenal incredible great beautiful.

        You are now my new best friend, KitchenMudge.

      • This video reminds me of how I speak of my company’s products and services. This verbiage is reason #147,967,476.000001 why that man was so bloody successful!

        That being said, I like my pc. I do recognize that Apple makes a better product, but not likely a $1500 better product.

        Oh, and I like my Blackberry. Iphones may be cooler, but some of us have to work for a living ;-)

        Lol. I already can feel the scorn on the back of my neck.

      • First of all, can I just point out that I like that it’s “reason #147,967,476.00000…and 1″? Love that.

        Also, yes, iPhone are all about play and we’re all about work, right Dinkerson? I mean, clearly, we lead very busy lives and couldn’t possibly have time to play on an iPhone. *Secretly wishing I had an iPhone to play games on*

        Actually, Apple drives me nuts. I’m quite happy without any of their products…so highly overpriced, just so it’ll look sexy. Ridiculous.

        Don’t worry about any scorn coming from my end, friend…I’m with you 100%. :)

  34. Loved, loved, loved this post. And it got me thinking about reasons why I would want to break up with myself.

    I agree, I-phone’s are sooo generic. I refuse to purchase one just out of principle.
    I also get your sanitiser addiction. The other day I applied some with so much rigor that I clapped my hands together to fast and some flew up and hit me in the eye. But luckily it dissolves just as fast on your eyeball as it does on your skin so it didn’t burn for too long. They should put that on the label.

    • At least you can rest assured that your eyeball is clean. That is my #1 worry.

      Thanks so much for dropping in and taking the time to comment, Madiexo! Greatly appreciated! :)

  35. Some good came from this. You reminded me that I need to water the houseplant. I think it would like to break up with me.

    I could set you up with me, but I have no intention of breaking up with myself for a woman who is simply way too young for either of me. And funnier. And wittier. And prettier. I guess I’ll have to make up with the houseplant.

    • I have every intention of breaking up with myself.

      And I would do it for a houseplant.

      Thanks again, Ric! Great to see you here again!

      • Well, if you like I can set you up with my houseplant. It deserves a good home and a good relationship after all these years of putting up with me. I’ll see if I can dig up its email address.

      • You couldn’t have set this up before Valentine’s Day, Ric?

      • That’s a whole year away. You don’t want to rush into these things. Or do you?

  36. PCC, I LOVE that you totally broke up with yourself using an iPhone!!

    You are a master of irony, and stuff. ;)

    Dug
    http://tr4f.wordpress.com

    • I feel like it’s the only way to truly do the relationship justice…go out with a bang and embarrass myself to no end by airing all of my dirty laundry about myself. What can I say? I deserved it.

      Thanks again, Dug!:)

      • Well…you really just have to do what you have to do. :)

        Did you update your Facebook status to ‘single’??

      • Yes, I did. I felt as though I should just rub it in a bit. I’ve been such a difficult person to live with all of these years that I wanted to embarrass myself as much as possible.

        I find Facebook to be the best way to do that.

  37. I literally stumbledupon your blog today. I must say, it’s pretty intriguing.
    I think this post is very funny. You’re too cute. I think you might have a new follower….wait, that sounds too creepy. I think you have a new fan. =)

    – Carlitos

    • Haha! Well, “follower” isn’t nearly as creepy as “stalker”…can you imagine if that’s the term that WordPress used? I’m not going to lie…I think that’d be hilarious!

      And creepy.

      Thanks so much for stopping by, Carlitos, and for your kind words! :)

  38. You know, on the contrary, most of the above qualities or characteristics are actually considered as Cute! Great post, always a pleasure to read your stuff!! :)

    • Aww…well that’s very sweet of you to say. Thank you, Satirical Satty. :)

  39. Thanks for letting me camp out in your blog for a little while today. I had a great time and tried to leave my campsite as good as when I arrived. I’ll be back!

    • Thanks very much for stopping by! Glad you enjoyed yourself! :)


  1. 1 Elevator Etiquette 101 (Hint #1: Don’t Sniff Hair) « PCC Advantage

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