Unnecessary Necessities – Don’t Judge Me Because I’m Pretty Sure You Have Them Too…
First of all, I’m sorry for being somewhat absent from the blogging world lately. No excuses. I’m just a terrible, terrible blogger. And I was completely uninspired…till now. And you know what inspired me today?
Well, not just a Post-It….many Post-Its. You see, I have a ton of them. All over my desk. And I love them. But I realise that it makes my desk look fairly cluttered and messy and, you know what? I don’t care. ‘Cause I love those things. I’m currently looking at all of them strewn all over my desk, with all of the nonsensical writing I’ve scribbled all over them, and there is 11 of them.
And that got me to thinking…what else is on my desk that is utterly ridiculous and useless, and yet, completely not toss-in-the-trash worthy? (Yes, I’ve coined that phrase. Don’t be jealous.) And, so friends, I give you the elements of PCC’s desk:
- I have one box of Kleenex that I don’t need. It has been on my desk for the past 2 years and is still not empty. I mean, really…who is going to blow their noses right at their desks?? (Wait…do people do this? Am I the only one who doesn’t?)
- I have two empty coffee mugs. The best part is that I don’t drink coffee. Like, at all. So why are these things on my desk, you ask? Because I drink tea with honey…well, really it’s more like I drink honey with a touch of tea in it. My mugs are well-coated in white honey. I’m sort of like Winnie-the-Pooh. Love the stuff. It’s gross and delicious all at the same time.
- I have three bottles of hand sanitizer. Because, clearly, one isn’t enough.
- I have four black pens that I refuse to take out of the box because I’m afraid someone else will see them and steal them. Black pens are the best. And everyone knows it. That’s why they want to steal them.
- I have five flyers from Staples. I like looking at them and imagining that I’m the chair model girl, just enjoying that swivel chair like no one’s business. I don’t feel like that’s weird.
- I have six file folders on my desk. I don’t plan on doing anything with them – it just makes me appear busy and important to have them there. They’ve been there for 3 months.
- I have seven windowless envelopes. ‘Cause who doesn’t need a bunch of those?
- I have eight pieces of scrap paper strewn about my desk with loads of writing, doodles, and things scratched out all over them – I find this to be a great way to ensure productivity.
- I have nine keys on my keyboard that are completely worn to the point that, if you didn’t know the QWERTY keyboard system, you’d have no idea where the T or the N would be.
- I have 10 large elastic bands wrapped around each other which has created a giant rubber ball. I like to bounce this ball on my desk while I’m thinking – I don’t believe anyone is annoyed by this.
- I have 11 Post-Its stuck on my desk, my computer screen, file folders, and other Post-Its. Some of them have been there for a year or more. I have no intention of removing them.
Part of me wants to take photos of my desk, just to prove to you that I am absolutely telling you the truth, but I’m afraid of what my mother would think. “Your desk is too messy, babygirl…you have no shame”, she’d say. And then I would laugh and say, “Mummy, it’s not such a big deal! You need to relax a little and be a bit messy sometimes.”
And then she would tell me to stop sassing her and would stick a Post-It over my mouth.
Have you ever had a love-affair with office supplies like I have with my Post-Its?
Do you blow your nose right at your desk?
Do you feel like reading this post was a complete waste of time? If so, feel free to express yourself on a Post-It and mail it to me in a windowless envelope…
Filed under: Writing | 59 Comments
Tags: Anchorman, desk, elastic band, humor, messy, office supplies, Post It, Staples, Winnie the Pooh