My Top 7 Guilty Pleasures
We all have something that we love to do and either hope that no one ever finds out about it because it would be just too embarrassing, or we display it all over the blogosphere and revel in our guilty pleasure, trying to get other people hooked as well. “What do you mean, PCC?”, you ask? Well, maybe like being in your thirties and still eating cereal made for kids (I’m looking at you, EduClaytion), or even being in your early thirties and still collecting comic books (here’s to you, Chris Coccoa), and then there are people like me that have a few guilty pleasures that most people don’t know about.
I am about to share my top 7 (because buh-LEEVE me, there are more) with you right now:
1) Making up names for colours whose names I don’t actually know, i.e. “Greeny-Bluey”. Dear Crayola, you’re welcome.
2) Trolling the “Missed Connection” section of Craigslist. Why? Because someday, I hope that someone out there notices me in this city and feels so drawn to me that they are much too frightened to actually speak to me because my actions are clearly reminiscent of one, Madusa (we also have very similar hair), and feels the need to post a random comment on a website, vaguely describing where we were and who I am: “Blonde girl in black sweater, saw you walking down the road. I was the guy in the car. If this is you, message me to tell me what time this was so I know it’s you”. Awesome. Can’t wait to read those words, someday…
3) Going through my Site Stats and reading what people are searching for when they somehow come across my blog. (Don’t judge me…you know you do it too.) Here are some of my favourites to date:
- “I’m in my thirties and a 17 year old keeps staring at me” – I have no idea how this search brought this guy to my blog, but I say he stares back…without blinking for 13 minutes straight. That oughta take care of it.
- “Mr. T” – One man + one mohawk + hundreds of gold chains = pure magic. Why wouldn’t I do a post with a picture of that guy in it?
- “Thrice divorced and living in a van down by the river” – I don’t think I can help you there, guy…
- “Cross section of a vegetable” – How did this happen? Do I look like a vegetable (a Rutabaga, perhaps)? Did I suddenly become a scientist and blog about it without knowing? Possible, I guess…
- “Star Wars bed sheets” – Don’t hate. They’re awesome.
- “Lying men in pajamas” – What every single woman is searching for…
- “Bette Davis Whatever Happened to Baby Jane wallpaper” – I post one picture of this…just one, and people find my blog, expecting to read about classic films from the ’60s. I can’t imagine their disappointment.
- “Need to check my email” – How do you know how to do Google this but not know how to click on your Inbox? How?
- “Clueless” – How I feel after trying to figure out how all of these people found my blog based on these searches…
4) Eating chocolate isn’t generally considered a guilty pleasure because so many people do it. What is there to be ashamed of in doing it, you may wonder? Well, how about downing 3 Kit Kat Chunky bars, eating the entire head of a large chocolate Easter bunny, and then 1lb of English Cadbury chocolate…all in one day? That’s a bit shameful and something that I should feel very guilty about doing, and I do…sort of. I would do it all again if given the opportunity, though.
5) Going to school certainly wouldn’t be on most people’s Top 5 Guilty Pleasures List, but it’s on mine. I always enjoyed school when I was younger (although my high school report card would beg to differ), and I still do (I work in a college now). I read a lot (including textbooks…so lame, I know), in my spare time I practice some of the concepts that I’ve learned (who does this?), and I even watch lectures online (again, I ask, who does this??). It’s a guilty pleasure because I’ve worked hard at maintaining my clutsy-blonde reputation and I can’t have a bunch of people thinking that I’m kind of a geek. 😉
6) Glee. Last week at this time, I had no idea what that show was about, nor why anyone would ever want to waste their time watching it. I have now watched the entire first season. The entire first season. In a week. Ridiculous.
7) Eating a Big Mac while watching other people exercise has got to be one of the worst, nay, the most disgusting and the most guiltiest of all my guilty pleasures that I indulge in. It’s so gross, but glorious all at the same time.
So, there you have it. I have just laid my disgusting pleasures out for you all to read….after reading through the list myself, I think I may need some help. Also, a diet-plan and exercise regimen. 😉
(BTW: Although I made fun of EduClaytion and Coccoa at the beginning of this post, I did so as a hypocrite. Froot Loops are still my favourite cereal and I still have my old collection of comic books. Just 2 more to add to the shame…).
How about you? What are your Guilty Pleasures in life? Is there anything that you do/eat/read when you think no one is watching and are ready to finally admit it?
Filed under: College, Education | 56 Comments
Tags: Big Mac, chocolate, College, Craigslist, Crayola, Education, Glee, guilty pleasures, humor, Medusa, University