Unnecessary Necessities – Don’t Judge Me Because I’m Pretty Sure You Have Them Too…
First of all, I’m sorry for being somewhat absent from the blogging world lately. No excuses. I’m just a terrible, terrible blogger. And I was completely uninspired…till now. And you know what inspired me today?
A Post-It.
I feel as though apologising on a Post-It is probably the most sincere apology you would ever receive…
Well, not just a Post-It….many Post-Its. You see, I have a ton of them. All over my desk. And I love them. But I realise that it makes my desk look fairly cluttered and messy and, you know what? I don’t care. ‘Cause I love those things. I’m currently looking at all of them strewn all over my desk, with all of the nonsensical writing I’ve scribbled all over them, and there is 11 of them.
Eleven.
And that got me to thinking…what else is on my desk that is utterly ridiculous and useless, and yet, completely not toss-in-the-trash worthy? (Yes, I’ve coined that phrase. Don’t be jealous.) And, so friends, I give you the elements of PCC’s desk:
- I have one box of Kleenex that I don’t need. It has been on my desk for the past 2 years and is still not empty. I mean, really…who is going to blow their noses right at their desks?? (Wait…do people do this? Am I the only one who doesn’t?)
Add a thick layer of dust to the top of this box, and it’s pretty much exactly what mine looks like.
- I have two empty coffee mugs. The best part is that I don’t drink coffee. Like, at all. So why are these things on my desk, you ask? Because I drink tea with honey…well, really it’s more like I drink honey with a touch of tea in it. My mugs are well-coated in white honey. I’m sort of like Winnie-the-Pooh. Love the stuff. It’s gross and delicious all at the same time.
Essentially, this is what I look like when I drink tea. In fact, I know it is – my boss told me so.
- I have three bottles of hand sanitizer. Because, clearly, one isn’t enough.
- I have four black pens that I refuse to take out of the box because I’m afraid someone else will see them and steal them. Black pens are the best. And everyone knows it. That’s why they want to steal them.
I’m jealous of the guy who owns this collection.
- I have five flyers from Staples. I like looking at them and imagining that I’m the chair model girl, just enjoying that swivel chair like no one’s business. I don’t feel like that’s weird.
I want to be her. And all day long, I want to say, “That was easy!”
- I have six file folders on my desk. I don’t plan on doing anything with them – it just makes me appear busy and important to have them there. They’ve been there for 3 months.
I’m pretty sure that Ron Burgandy had a lot of file folders on his desk…
- I have seven windowless envelopes. ‘Cause who doesn’t need a bunch of those?
- I have eight pieces of scrap paper strewn about my desk with loads of writing, doodles, and things scratched out all over them – I find this to be a great way to ensure productivity.
- I have nine keys on my keyboard that are completely worn to the point that, if you didn’t know the QWERTY keyboard system, you’d have no idea where the T or the N would be.
- I have 10 large elastic bands wrapped around each other which has created a giant rubber ball. I like to bounce this ball on my desk while I’m thinking – I don’t believe anyone is annoyed by this.
I’m pretty close to re-creating this…
- I have 11 Post-Its stuck on my desk, my computer screen, file folders, and other Post-Its. Some of them have been there for a year or more. I have no intention of removing them.
Part of me wants to take photos of my desk, just to prove to you that I am absolutely telling you the truth, but I’m afraid of what my mother would think. “Your desk is too messy, babygirl…you have no shame”, she’d say. And then I would laugh and say, “Mummy, it’s not such a big deal! You need to relax a little and be a bit messy sometimes.”
And then she would tell me to stop sassing her and would stick a Post-It over my mouth.
Have you ever had a love-affair with office supplies like I have with my Post-Its?
Do you blow your nose right at your desk?
Do you feel like reading this post was a complete waste of time? If so, feel free to express yourself on a Post-It and mail it to me in a windowless envelope…
Filed under: Writing | 59 Comments
Tags: Anchorman, desk, elastic band, humor, messy, office supplies, Post It, Staples, Winnie the Pooh
PCC Advantage
I am a university graduate, and I now work for a private college. I began writing this blog as a means to inform people about issues pertaining to higher education, both publicly and privately funded.
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PCC Advantage 
It is nice to see you back .Regards .Jalal Michael
Aww…thank you so much! It’s been FAR too long since I last posted and I feel badly about that. It’s nice to know that you missed me. 🙂 (<— even if that's not the case, please don't tell me because I want to pretend you missed me. It makes me feel important.)
I did mean it.A smiling face and beautiful words make life wonderful.J. Michael
Awww…. 🙂
I have a Post-It Note at my desk that says: “Check to see if PCC has posted anything today.” 🙂
I kid…I kid…
That is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. The fact that you actually want me to post something AND that you would refer to a Post-It note is about the greatest compliment I could ever receive.
Next time, please write it on your Kleenex box too.
Thanks Jeff…always so great to hear from you! 🙂
It’s true. I have all of these things and every color post-it strewn about my desk area–it looks like a post-it rainbow.
Okay, we have just become best friends.
Thanks for stopping by, LaLa! 😉
I made them special order the neon grape Post-Its just for me. 🙂
I think you are my hero.
Just don’t turn your back on me. I steal pens.
I figured. You’re a bit of a cheeky little monkey like that…
Start drinking coffee. Look around to see if others have facial tissues on their desks. If the guys do, they may be using them for . . . something else!!
BTW . . .WB to the blogging world 🙂
Coffee is gross. Facial tissues are gross. Guys are…well, not gross all the time, but sometimes they are.
Thanks so much, Sorry! It’s nice to be back again! 🙂
Ummm . . . correct me where I’m wrong, but . . . do guys go draping their soiled undies off the faucet and showerhead?!? So maybe we don’t have a monopoly on ‘gross’, ya think? 😉
Good point. But I’m pretty sure they pick their noses when they think no one is watching, and…let’s face it…that trumps everything else.
Earlier today I had a hard drive caddy that had been sitting there for about a month.
Actually, I am relatively tidy in this sense. I don’t really have much in the way of desk furniture cluttering the place up. I even keep the icons on my PC desktop down to a minimum.
You, sir, are an inspiration to me. I have even more stuff on my desk, but I just thought it would be too long of a post if I wrote it all down. The strange part is that, although my desk is a sheer mess, I am a very neat and tidy person. I don’t know why my desk brings out the worst in me….thanks a lot, desk…ya jerk.
Nice to hear from you again, Michael! Always happy to see you here! 🙂
I have to clean the surface of my desk at least 2 times a week because it becomes unusable so quickly. Someone makes an awful mess.
It must be the gremlins. Because I’m certain that you aren’t to blame.
My desk mess isn’t my fault either…I just happened to feed my Mogwai after midnight and chaos ensued. Not my fault.
Without post its, my life would become one long session of procrastination that would lead to a completely useless life. Oh wait a minute, I have to write that on a post it.
Do you realize that someday some postologist will recreate the entire of mankind by studying post its!
No Really……
Well, he wouldn’t have to look very far – just in my waste bin. There’s all kinds of clues written on all kinds of Post-Its in there…
Thanks for stopping in again, Ecodolphin! Always great to see you here!
I love Post-It notes! They are perfect little things, aren’t they? I, too, have some folders that are completely empty. I have been saving them for that something special. For three years. 😉
Empty folders?! Oh no, that won’t do. You must immediately fill them with useless papers that have absolutely no relation to each other. Just stack them in there. Then scribble notes all over the front of them – this is the way to look very busy and important.
Thanks for dropping in again, JeanDay! So happy to see you here again! 🙂
I have to agree that nothing says “sincere” like a Post-It, however, a Post-It with an iStockPhoto watermark takes it to a whole new level of sincerity. I think you have reached the pinnacle of heartfelt-sincerity-ness. Yes, I’ve just coined that, whilst being moved to tears.
I refuse to admit how many of these I’m guilty of. I do admit that…
I have one Chicken Soup for the Soul calendar on my desk. It’s currently on August 21st. …of 1997. Yes, I know, and that’s nothing. My Michael Sowa wall calendar is older than that! But I digress. Why is there a 5-yr-old CS calendar on my desk? Because I stopped reading it.
You see, CS calendars come with issues. First of all, days are supposed to go by one at a time. I’ve checked around and I’m not alone in this opinion. CS forces me to read ahead to Thursday and then leave Monday there until Thursday. It’s very disorienting. They also think it’s funny to start stories on Friday and print part of them on the weekend days. They are wrong!
Second, CS stories make me cry. Actually, pretty much everything makes me cry. So a box of Kleenex on my desk (one of these days my party favor joke is going to catch on) is an actual necessity. Except for some reason, I don’t have one. It was for this second reason that I stopped reading. …in March.
You may have noticed that there are some missing days between March and August. In fact August 21st is right in the middle of a story and there’s a reason for that. That’s right! I use them as Post-Its now!
This has it’s drawbacks. I jotted down a phone number for Sheri-down-the-hall once. I couldn’t understand why she kept coming back to my office to ask for the same phone number. Then it dawned on me, there was no gum on the calendar pages and she must be losing them, so I tried to give her a real Post-It… that’s when she confessed she had to know how the story turned out.
Guess what Sheri-down-the-hall (who looks suspiciously like the girl in the swivel chair) got for Christmas? That’s right! Party favors! She hates me now, but she stopped asking for phone numbers. And I have someplace I can go to blow my nose whenever I’m dumb enough to read one of the pages before I peel it off.
So, yeah… sorry for going so long and wasting your time here, especially if you clicked my link! But, it’s been so long, and I’ve really been sorely missing the ridiculous comments I leave here. Oh, and sorry this isn’t on a Post-It, or a frustratingly incomplete excerpt from a Chicken Soup story.
Yes, I do believe that iStockPhoto watermarks are the true test of sincerity. I add them to everything – Mother’s Day cards, Father’s Day cards, embedded in emails.
I love that you have calendars that are so old. Why? Because I have a calendar from 1997. With cats on it. I don’t even like cats. Or 1997. But I’ve still got it.
I like your party favours. I think I should invest in some. Oh, wait…I have a box of 200 of them on my desk. I better get rid of them before people start coming to my desk to use them. So gross. I hate when people do that. 😉
Once again, Annie, you leave awesome comments…I suck. I just tell you how brilliant you are on your blog because I don’t know what else I can possibly say. You, however, are always creative and witty. I might be a bit jealous of that.
Okay, okay…a lot jealous.
Thanks Anne! 😉
Christy, your so funny and so witty and so awesome, when I get to the end of your posts I’m full of giggles, I just want to make you giggle too, like if we were, you know, giggling together. I get to your three questions at the bottom and my head is all full of the things you just gave me to read, and well, anyway, you’re brilliant! ♥
Sigh…Anne, you are just the best. Thank you. You just made my day! 🙂
Also, when I imagine us giggling, I think it would be something like this (around the 2:45 mark): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MumI6KovUk
I actually could not stop myself from giggling watching that. 🙂
I figured that’s what would happen…because I was the same way. 🙂
You sound perfect… And gorgeous!
Oh, I am FAR from perfect…but thank you nonetheless, Hook. 🙂
Nice post. Made me smile this morning!
Aww…I’m so glad. Thanks very much Ephesus! And thanks for stopping in! 🙂
Always smile when I get a notice of a new post from PCC. I absolutely have favorite office supplies that actually have traveled with me over the years from place to place. (In the interest of full disclosure, most all of them have been owned by yours truly…most…really) I have found people will help themselves to a Kleenex but most always turn away or walk away to use it. I in turn have no problem helping myself to one and blasting away desk-side. After all, that’s what the hand sanitizer is for…post-blast. As far as the sanitizers, I strategically have one bottle placed near me and one bottle “some distance” away for those who wish to partake. That one is YOURS. This one is MINE. Post-its…I limit myself to four on display at any given time. And speaking of posts…loved this one!
Wow…thanks so much, Sports! Such kind words to say. 🙂
Okay, so I think you and I agree very deeply on hand sanitizer – there is one bottle that I will use, and you must use another. I don’t want your Kleenex germs coming near my hand sanitizer. And that is why we have several bottles of it at our desks. Love it.
Thanks for dropping in again, Sports! Always makes me happy to see you here! 🙂
HAHAHA! Love you, PCC. I’ve been a little absent too. Here’s the reason why, I’m dating a drummer in a boy band. HA! Just love to say that, because they’re all a bunch of old duffers! Mine is 54. Nevertheless, we challenged each other to get rid of the post-its, scrap paper, old newsletters, dull pencils, sticky mugs and dusty M and Ms. When I sent him a picture, and gathered all my coworkers into my office, an angel choir broke out in song.
“Victoria! I’ve worked here for years and never seen the color of your desk!” was the common refrain.
I totally agree about the pens. People break into my office, steal my pens, and leave me dull pencils with chewed erasers. Annoying.
Love you!
Victoria
Oooh…a drummer, eh? Mmmm…there’s something very attractive about drummers, no? I’ve got a bit of a weakness for that lot too (and maybe one drummer in particular), so good on you, Victoria! 😉
As for your desk, that alone makes me just want to hang out with you all the more. I would pepper your desk with an inexplicable number of Post-Its and elastic bands so much that you would never want to leave it. You’d love it. I know you would.
Also, if people are stealing your pens and giving you pencils with chewed up erasers in their place, just beat them to the punch – before you break out a new pen, just go to their desk first and steal their pencils. Then you will have all of the office supplies!! ALL OF THEM!!! *insert evil Vincent Price laugh here*
Much love, my dear! So great to hear from you again! 🙂
“I have three bottles of hand sanitizer.”
You may also have a mild case of OCD.
Welcome back to the blogging world!
I can assure you that it’s not a mild case…I would bathe myself in the stuff if it were socially acceptable.
Thanks, DOT! Great to hear from you again! 😉
A nice sense of humour comes through your writing. I hope your co-workers don’t see your blog 🙂 you’ve given away all the secrets of your desk. It’ll be harder to appear busy now. Well, you’ll just have to add an extra few folders on top of the old ones. No harm in a bit of re-intimidation to take back the edge 😛
Haha! Yes, good point! I think I need to increase the number of file folders and Post-Its in order for my co-workers to believe I’m busy. Well, either that or I could do some real work. That might help too…
Thanks so much for stopping in, Declan! So great to have you drop in. 🙂
Great to have you back. Great post – so good I may have to nick it for one of my own! My desk is also rather cluttered (as they say “clean mind, untidy desk”) and I’m proud of it. There may also be some stuff that really don’t need to be there but I know the moment I get rid of them I will desperately need them RIGHT NOW! 🙂
That’s cool. I don’t mind when people steal my stuff. 😉
Seriously, though Ken, thanks so much for your kind words and for saying that you’re happy to have me post again…it does mean a lot! 😀
Also, I’m quite certain that the moment you throw away your giant elastic band ball, you will immediately require it.
Ha ha well, no word of a lie, I do have my own rubber band ball – but I wouldn’t dream of getting rid of it!
And thanks for your kind words too 🙂
Are you close to recreating the giant ball or young man standing on top of it? Because that woule be newsworthy.
Both. But something may have gone wrong…the man is somehow entwined in the giant elastic band ball.
I may need to work on that.
(Thanks for dropping in, IdiotPrufs! Great to have you here!) 🙂
You sure do have a lot of stuff, and all these on your table? Perhaps, clutter is cool, yes?
Clutter is never cool, but I find it to be acceptable if it’s on my desk. I’m not sure why.
I should probably clean off my desk soon…I’ll probably have to write it on a Post-It to remind myself.
Thanks again for stopping in, Bob! 🙂
Oh No! Don’t clean the desk, you might hate the clean look (explains why i never clean my desk)
There is that elegant touch of simplicity in your writing style that instantly pops a smile on the reader’s face…………Top Stuff!!……. 🙂
Wow! Thank you very much for dropping by and for your very kind words, Satirical Satty! Much appreciated! 🙂
Lovely post! 🙂
I would like you to know that, unlike you, I keep nothing at my desk, at all. It gives me a reason to get up and move around…and I kind of hate my chair too…it’s too soft!…:P
Hmm…that’s a good way of thinking, Eeshan! Perhaps I should clear everything from my desk so that I’d have an excuse to get up every once in a while. Like, if I need a pen, I would just go to my colleague’s office and ask for one, give it back after 4 minutes of usage, and then go back and ask for it again, etc. That’s not too extreme, is it?
Also, I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t get annoying. In fact, I’m certain of it.
Thanks so much for stopping in again, Eeshan! It’s always great to hear from you! (By the way, loved the video you posted! Great job!) 🙂
On the funny side, If you keep doing that, then your colleague can utilize you as a 4-minute timer! 😉
And I’m so glad you liked my video! Thanks a lot! 😀
(I hope bollywood dancing didn’t seem too funny to you!)
Pfft…please. Bollywood dancing isn’t funny to me because I see it all the time! Here in Toronto, many of our cinemas actually play Bollywood films because there are so many Asian/Southeast Asian people living here, so don’t worry about it! I thought you did great! 🙂
That’s cool and yeah, there are a lot punjabi’s over there! You’ll miss this in Ireland. 😉
And Thanks again! 🙂
I know the feeling about long absences from posting. Good to see you haven’t given up yet! If you are coming to Ireland soon, leave a message on my blog and maybe we could meet – compare notes!!
Nope! Haven’t given up yet! 🙂 Thanks very much, Charlie! If I’m not mistaken, you’re in/near Wicklow, right? I don’t think I’ll be down that way until the end of my trip as I’m heading north, then west, south, and then east. So perhaps we’ll meet up in a week’s time or so? And that’s only if I can find a place with some internet connection…haha.
Thanks again, Charlie!!
P.S. Do you know of any places within Ireland that offers free Wi-Fi? Like McDonald’s, Starbucks, or any other coffee shops?