Dumpsville: 11 Signs That You’re On Your Way There…
Okay, so first of all, I really do feel the need to apologise to you all for my absence as of late…I’m so sorry (<— that was heartfelt…could you tell? If not, just imagine me saying it with one tear falling down my cheek with One Republic playing in the background….then you’ll feel it). I haven’t had an opportunity to post, nor have I been able to read all of your posts lately (which, I might add, I’ve really missed doing), but I’m back, baby! Thanks to all of you that said you missed my posts and reminded me that I needed to post again soon….much appreciated!
Alright, enough of the mushy stuff…
I’ve said this a million times before, but just in case someone new is reading this blog for the first time, I’ll mention it again: I work at a college. Since I work at a college, I have access to the thoughts and actions of teenagers/young adults, which is priceless. Now, I don’t know if this post was inspired simply from students or the fact that I’ve been listening to Usher’s Confessions all week at my desk ( I know…so lame), but it got me thinking about all the ways that you know someone is about to break up with you.
You see, there are many things that you kids need to look out for that are clear indications that you’re about to be dumped. Is this a happy topic to talk about? Of course not! But it’s real life…and sort of hilarious, when you think of it.
So, kids, how do you know when someone is about to break up with you? Why, when things like this happen, of course:
1 ) When your boyfriend says he’s going to take the same class as you next semester….and then drops out of school.
2 ) When your girlfriend says, “We need to talk”…and you never hear from her again.
3 ) When your boyfriend starts asking for his stuff back from you: “Hey, can I get that sweater back that I lent you?”
4 ) When, every time his phone rings, he says it’s his sister calling…and he’s an only child.
5 ) When you get an email from your girlfriend saying that she thinks you should start seeing other people…because she already is.
6 ) When your boyfriend changes his relationship status on Facebook to “It’s complicated”.
7 ) When your boyfriend categorises you as an “acquaintance” on Facebook.
8 ) When your boyfriend deletes you as a friend on Facebook….doesn’t even want you to be an acquaintance anymore.
9 ) When you ask your girlfriend what she’s doing this weekend and she says that she wishes you’d “stop planning for the future so much”.
10 ) When your boyfriend tries to set you up with one of his friends. (That’s usually a pretty bad sign…usually.)
11 ) When your boyfriend plays Usher’s song Confessions for you and asks you to listen for the “hidden meaning”…
So, kids, the next time you try to call your boyfriend or girlfriend only to find out that they’ve changed their number without telling you, or when you tell them that you love them and they say, “Thanks. Do you know what I love? Whoppers! Let’s go to Burger King…”, or even when their birthday is 2 weeks away and they tell you that you “don’t need to keep that night free”, you will know what’s coming.
Hopefully, you’ll be able to beat ’em to the punch and break up with them first! Just make sure that you have Kelly Clarkson’s song Stronger playing in the background…because everyone needs a theme song.
What other “break-up signs” have you witnessed in your lifetime?
Do you have a Break-Up Theme Song? What is it?
Did you find this to be a ridiculously depressing post? Should I delete it immediately?
Filed under: College, Education, School | 56 Comments
Tags: boyfriend, breaking up, College, dating, Education, girlfriend, humor, relationships, Usher