It’s a Whole Nother Language: Non-Words, Annoying Phrases, and Mispronunciations

18Jan12

Hey guys!

Well, I’m full of blogger love today because of the outpouring of kindness from you all yesterday/today welcoming me back. It’s been a while since I’ve written a real post (I’m not counting yesterday’s), and for that I’m sorry. BUT…today will be a good one. I hope. *Nervously checks Google for blog ideas*

I feel like this cartoon really captures what I look like when I have writer's block...it even has the Gobstopper eyes and everything.

Actually, this is a post that I’ve wanted to write for over a month now, but I just haven’t had the time. It is regarding a topic that is near and dear to my heart – the English language. You see, we have an ESL programme at my college, and it amazes me how so many of those ESL speakers actually speak the language better than most of us native speakers. Now, don’t get me wrong here – I’m not trying to get on my high horse at all…I make many mistakes when I’m speaking/writing/stuttering/stalling for more time before I state something.

BUT…what follows is a rant of the most annoying words/phrases and non-words/phrases in the English language that I hear every day:

 

Non-Words/Phrases

1) “Whatev” – just finish the word please. And then, when you do, that will annoy me as well.

2) “Ridonkulous” – who even made up this word? That guy should be forced to listen to people say that word, over and over again, for 17 hours straight. (That’s the worst kind of torture that I can think of).

3) “Whole nother” – this is the most annoying of all words/phrases that I’ve ever heard. Where did the “n” come from? If it’s a shortened version of “whole another”, please note that that is still wrong…doesn’t make sense. Please stop saying this.

4) “Incentivize” – you know what would give people more incentive to work harder? If their bosses didn’t make up words in the boardroom and then smugly look around as though he just coined a new catchphrase.

No. It's not.

 

Expressions

1) “May or may not” – well, obviously. I mean, either will or it will not…stop trying to sound smart by using this expression. It’s not smart. It’s ridonkulous.

2) “It is what it is” – I say again, obviously it is. Stop trying to fill in the gaps of conversation/awkward silences with phrases like this please.

3) “Same difference” – I don’t even want to talk about this one. That’s how much it annoys me.

4) “Better sooner than later” – Really? Because, had you not said that to me, I would have thought that things were always better later than sooner. Thanks for setting me straight with that gem.

5) “I’m just sayin‘” – no one is ever “just saying” something…there’s always a hidden meaning behind what they’re saying when they complete their story with this phrase.  They say things like, “Well, [insert spouse’s name here], that’s not the way my Mom used to make mashed potatoes. I’m just sayin'”. C’mon…you know what that person is really trying to say…

6) “What not” – why do people say this? You know, it’s always something like, “I like Big Macs, but not brussel sprouts and carrots, and what not…” I’m annoyed just thinking about this phantom conversation right now.

7) “No offense” – this has to be the most annoying thing that could ever be said to someone. Whenever someone says this, they clearly mean for you to take offense at what they just said.

 

Mispronunciations

1) “Hull-arious” – it is rather clear that there is an “i” in “hilarious”. Make use of it.

2) “Fuss-trated” – why is “frustrated” so difficult to say?

3) “Flustrated” – I know that it can be easy to combine “frustrated” and “flustered” sometimes, but if you do it more than 3 times, you might have a problem…

4) “Li-barry” – if you pronounce “library” like this, perhaps you need to spend more time in one.

5) “Suppos-ably” – sometimes, I wish we had spellcheck for our mouths.

6) “Ex-specially” and “ex-scape“, et al – these words feel more complicated to say than the proper words, don’t they? I mean, I actually have to put in effort to emphasize the “x”.

7) “Vice-a-Versa” – I don’t know why the “a” is sometimes added into this one. If they meant for it to be pronounced this way, they would have spelled it this way; however, it’s pretty clear…”vice versa”.

8) “Nu-cu-ler” – this is a personal favourite of George W. Again, the word “nuclear” is spelled just as it is meant to be spoken.

9) “Pro-nounc-iation” – I know this one can be a bit tricky, but it’s “pro-nun-ciation” and “pro-nounce”…it’s easy to combine them to make one word, though. I know.

 

I don’t know. Perhaps I’m being, like, far too ridonkulous about all this. I mean, I shouldn’t get to fusstrated with people’s pronounciation of words. I mean, whatev…it is what it is. It’s just that sometimes, it feels like they’re speaking a whole nother language…supposably, it’s English. Same difference, though I guess. It all just annoys me, though. No offense….

What are the words/non-words/phrases that people say that annoy you the most?

Do you ever correct people when they say things incorrectly or things that are non-words?

Do you think the author of this post just needs to relax a little and stop ranting?

Filed under: College, Education, University, Writing   |  71 Comments
Tags: Education, English, humor, language, native speakers, ridonkulous